Dear 20-year-old me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Qq6tSvY6O24

Dear 20 year-old Mariposa,

You have the cutest butt ever! Keep working out, girl! ;)

You just started an amazing journey that will make your life different forever. Τhe one of social activism. Start talking as soon as possible, no-one can talk on behalf of you, no-one can say the things you have in your head for you! You will meet people that will be your friends for many years to come, you will be tear-gassed, you will feel the solidarity, you will cry watching "Land & Freedom". You will be educated in politics, economics, history.

You will meet an amazing guy and you will feel things that are rear and you only get to have them maybe 1-2 times in your life, if you're lucky. Don't expect him to change, he never will. You will not be with him forever, but he will be your friend for ever, no matter how impossible he can be sometimes. Don't wait for him, he will ALWAYS be late. Don't worry he's not the last great guy you'll meet, so don't cry your eyes out so much!

Don't try too hard with some idiots you'll meet. If they look like idiots from the beginning, it's because the are!

Ιf you get sprayed with tear gas in your eyes DON'T try to remove your contacts. Your hands have tear-gas on them as well... It will hurt like hell for hours and you'll end up in the hospital!

Be more daring, have your personal happiness as the center of your life.

Ask for that boss of yours for insurance! No, seriously!

A drop of lubricant on the tip of the condom prevents it from breaking.

Please go to a professional hair-dresser for a descent haircut... Red? no, not really...
Don't be so judgmental with weak people, there will be a time that you will be so weak you will not be able to go out of bed.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. You will definitely do when you won't have any other choice.

Don't be so judgmental against psychology, medication, depressive people. Anti-depressives are not (just) the way of the system to fix you up a little so you can go back to your job and be productive. They will literally save your life.

Be more daring. Don't be afraid about what others will say. Travel more, join a volunteer group and visit Kenya, the place you were conceived.

You will be an engineer and that's awesome! You will live abroad as you've always wanted to! Choose a different topic for your master's...

I have no idea if you'll ever be happy; really, not a fucking clue...
The cool part is that all the things you were late to do, you can do them later.

Are you >30 and single? you're screwed! (but you won't get in relationship)

Quiz:

How many people do you know that are over 30 years old and got in a relationship this last year?

I don't know any!

Being in your 30's right in the middle of the worst economic crisis we've lived in ain't easy!
You might get laid, but you won't get in a relationship!

It's not like the guys (or girls) that you meet are not nice people, or kind, educated, interesting, or that you're not all these things yourself. It's just that we' re all so fucking scared... I always think "am I going too fast, am I pushing him, oh my god, he's going too fast, should I hold his hand in public, can I hug him now, hey, he's hugging me, that's weird...". Sometimes I know that if I really was in a relationship with this guy it would never work, but still I want to get into one to remember how it is and then be more normal with the next guy, who will be the real thing!

And then I remember that it's not supposed to be like this and that you really shouldn't think like this, and that we stopped looking into each others eyes and sending sweet texts to each other, and that this small word, "my", is not there. "my love, my baby, my girl, my boy".

A male friend of mine told me yesterday: "When it's about to get real, I disappear."
My friend is deeply romantic and very scared. He's also very sad.

At least some of us are lucky enough to have our friends around us, our safety net, that are substituting relationships, sometimes even family. My shrink says that we're substituting romantic relationships with our friends because we're not willing (we're tired, scared, too stressed) to take any risk. We're not willing to sacrifice things, because being involved in a romantic relationship implies "sacrificing" some parts of your privacy, time, emotions to be with someone else.

On the other hand, we're not really happy, are we? It's not like we have to be with someone else to be happy. But we've managed to go to the other side of it, sabotaging any attempt to be with someone in order not to end up being more sad. So we end up being "lågom", a Swedish word that means "not good, not bad". And so fucking boring!

I came back from Florence where I had a great time by myself!
I was looking at couples and I was thinking "Are they really happy? Are they going to last? Will they be like that in 5 years?".
Some of them looked happy, touching each other, caring for each other. Some others did not look into each others eyes anymore.

Guys, really, start looking into each other's eyes again... And please, mean it...

I'm going for my run daily run. My schedule is posted on my fridge door and I religiously follow it!