"2/3 of us don't ask for help..."
Yesterday, I had an awesome evening!
Before I went running I was feeling down, and dull and not wanting to move my ass out of the house. The insomnia stroke back after one year and I can't fall asleep before 7 am... Then, my friend came and we went running. We increased our running intervals from 2' to 3' with 1' walking in between. I think we ran a total of 2K. It might sound lame to you, but for us it's a big deal!
After my run my smile was big on my face, I was energetic and social :)
I went out for a drink with a girlfriend and we ended up at 5am with 2 other friends, swimming at the beach and watching the day wake up. I slept at 7am.
In your face, insomnia!
While we were at the beach we were talking about the "30's crisis" to one of the guys who just turned 30. Marriage, kids, what society expects you to do... We were saying that we're not very happy in general - my girlfriend is also depressed- and that the options are that either you die or you live being not very happy. The guy said "Can't you just live and be happy?
Weeeell, it's not like we prefer to be unhappy. Being depressed makes us suffer in a very profound way. I am glad I don't have this constant feeling of sadness and helplessness anymore. The truth is that it took me a long time to get here. I am taking my medication and I did almost two years of therapy. I'm still not entirely happy, but I am functional and I can enjoy life. There are still the down moments, but I'm still trying to figure things out.
There are some truths about depression:
1. One of the hardest thing about depression is that you feel that you'll never get out of it. It might also be true, if you've had too many periods of major depression and if you've never had any help.
2. The other big truth is that you don't HAVE to feel like that. You can really get out of this black hole that's dragging you.
3. People who've never had it, no matter how much they love you, might think you can just snap out of it. It's just a matter of "seeing things differently" and enjoying life. What they might not know is that when you're suffering from major depression your brain doesn't allow you to feel happiness and enjoy life. The chemical balance is broken. It's not that we don't want to be happy, we simply can't. We feel so sad and helpless that we might think to kill ourselves and some people try to- and succeed. It's not that we don't love you and we don't care about you. It's just that we feel so unhappy that our life is unbearable.
Ways that can help re-establish this balance are anti-depressants and therapy.
4. There are antidepressants that are not medication. Physical exercise, sex, some foods, sunlight, a hug can produce endorphins that make us happy. There is a point, though, that these "natural antidepressants" can't help anymore. I think this is what I'm trying to do by running. It's like my last resort; if this doesn't work, I don't know what else will...
Southern Europe is a sunny place, with happy, open people and strong family ties. At least, this used to be the case before the economic crisis stroke the PIGS (Portugal, Italy, Greece, Spain).
More and more people fall into depression and the attempts to suicide have risen dramatically.
If one of your friends/ relatives/ loved ones doesn't go out of the house, doesn't answer your calls, seems to be moody, abuses alcohol and drugs he/she might suffer from depression.
Don't be angry at him/her if they don't want to "snap out of it". Even I, sometimes, get angry when my loved ones realize they're depressed and they're not willing to do anything about it.
I think my anger shows that I see myself in them and how scared I am to go back to a major depression episode. It's like if they don't make it, I never will, either.
Our loved ones' anger is somehow different. It's like we're telling them "I don't love you enough to keep wanting to live for you".
It's true that other people can make us happy, but you cannot live your life for anyone else but yourself.
Some links with facts about depression:
Top 7 Therapy Myths
Major depression prognosis
